It was a hard decision to make, but I think I picked the right OkCupid message with which to start this blog. (Oh, I won’t ever tell you who any of these people are, so don’t bother asking.)

The following is a REAL message I received from someone on the online dating website OkCupid (create a profile right meow:

Spontaneous love pours through my fingers and to YOU who are receptive to such feelings, receive this love that my hands dance upon this keyboard. 

Thank you for using your eyes to see love in these words and feel the warmth of my soul pouring into yours. 

What is your dream? 
What is your vision? 

Where are you? Spiritually? Emotionally? Mentally? Orally? Creatively? 

In long – explain yourself – your deepest yearnings and realest truths that you have soaked up and wish to share. 

I’d like to be that kind of person to you. 

Someone you could tell anything and feel perfectly comfortable with. 
I’d like to demonstrate through a long series of kind thoughts words and actions that my heart is pure and light and my intentions are true. 

To you who inspire me to play freely. I eagerly anticipate our togetherness and extend out ethereal warmest hugs for you. 

My initial response to this message was “Thank you. You know, I have been wondering how I am doing orally lately. I’ve been needing some introspection on this.”

The first question I am asked almost always when I share this message is ‘what does your profile say?’ As if I put on my profile under the “You should contact me if…” section, “your hobbies include taxidermy and crying while masturbating.” My profile is normal-ish, I can assure you. I have had multiple friends read and critique my profile.

I have so many questions.  Is this a message he sends to everyone or did he actually take the time to write this for me? How much lsd has this man taken in his life/was he on lsd while writing me this message? Was he referring to me as his love, or was he asking ‘love’ to tell him what it’s dream and vision are? Is he a wizard?

I chose not to reply at the time, but have given some thought to replying now. I don’t want to deter him from playing freely. I’m just not sure how I am doing creatively, so I think maybe I’ll have to wait a little longer until I figure this out.

Keep it weird y’all,



About Jess

It's about time we became comfortable with the uncomfortable.
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